And just like that, another year is coming to a close. It’s hard to believe, really. The older I get, the faster time goes. I am trying to enjoy the moments I am in now, because like Andy said on “The Office,” “I wish there was a way to know you were in the good ol days before you actually left them.” It’s something I take with me, as I tend to reminisce of the past more than I am present.
With that, I started to think about 2020 and reflect on 2019. 2017 and 2018 were amazing years. Honestly, I knew they’d be hard to beat. 2019 wasn’t bad, but it just felt meh. I can’t even recall a high point, but I know there were some. And that’s when I realized how much I let the world and my circumstances dictate how I feel inside and how I see my life. It’s a devastating realization because it puts 100% ownership on you. But on the flip side, that means it’s possible to change that.
I picked TWO words for 2020, because they are equally important to propel me into the life I want to live. The first one is meant for what I was talking about above, and that is contentment. Finding joy in me and my life regardless of circumstance. Settling my mind and not working towards what is next, but focusing on the here and now. Not getting anxious when there’s not enough big things happening.
I’ve been this way my entire life. Easily bored, wanting more, knowing I can do more but don’t, expecting myself to do more. I’m missing out on some important things by living this way, and therefore I’ve chosen contentment to find peace and happiness in the everyday. It is going to be really hard for me. It’s an entire mindset change which is not easy to do overnight. But claiming it as my 2020 mantra is the start.
Health wise, I let myself go more than ever and while the number on the scale doesn’t define me, how I feel inside does and I’ve felt horrible. Low energy, sad, barely making it through workouts… the list goes on. Leaving dance and trying to figure out my new schedule impacted me more than I noticed until now. I started to cut caffeine, and it helped my anxiety, but I still found myself making unhealthy choices that did not help me feel good.
My 2nd word(s) is health. It’s time to focus and prioritize my physical health, for real this time. It’s time to grow up and take care of my body. There’s a lot of negative stories out there right now about diets and diet culture. Trust me, I’ve tried a lot of them and for the most part I agree. However, I decided to join a program because I need help. I need nutrition help and accountability when I trip up after week one and give up instead of trying again. I need support to make this a habit and a lifestyle I live, not just short-term but forever. The one I joined seemed to be something that is sustainable and teaches you how to eat for your body and your life. That’s what I need and what I want. So, in January I start and it will be a journey, that’s for sure. I’m nervous, but honestly so excited to feel better and stronger.
I have some big goals ahead of me, but staying focused on these two words will help me be consistent as well.
Do you pick a word/mantra for the year ahead? If so, share yours in the comments.